newborn blues: newborn family photography at home in Aledo

My son is 17 months now; how did that happen? I remember when I’d ask parents, “How old is he?” And, inside I’d laugh when they answered in months. So in homage to pre-parent Amber, my son is one. I miss when he was new, and I don’t know if I’ll ever experience what it’s like to have a newborn again. Who knows? I’m fortunate that when I get a little blue or nostalgic, I begin to get calls to photograph newborns. 


When I photograph newborns and families, I send out a guide with some general information about what to expect, my process, what to wear, etc. I am in the process of rebranding my business, and I’ve been looking at colour palettes, and I actually googled “portra blue.” Kodak Portra 400 blue is my favorite blue hue. I know, I’m so strange. People have said that to me since I was this kid’s age. His first-time parents were so smitten, and how could you blame them: he’s perfect. Even the Great Danes agreed. I will always love a cool blue and a warm skin tone. This is the magic that film produces. I crave experimenting at the edges of grit and elegance, where vintage meets modern and light plays in the shadows. I love a timeless portrait and some authentic lifestyle photography, too. In a newborn or family session, I strive to create a mix of both in your home environment. If you or someone you know is expecting a baby in 2019, send me a note. 


family : my vision: fine art film photography in Fort Worth

I can’t tell you how many times I arrive for a newborn or family session to find some version of this: Dogs are jumping…Dad is on a call or watching tv…Children are half clothed at best, eating red popsicles on the white sofa…and Mom is stressed. 


I get it: the very idea of family photos makes you want to break out in hives - so much so that you may have opted out last year…and the year before…and a couple more years before that. 
But the thing is, art doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.


So, I pet the animals and tame the kids with something sans red dye no. 5 and and give Dad a job to do (he just wants to know what to do with his hands 😂) and assure Mom that she can relax - I’ll take it from here. 

Family, in and of itself, is art. Messy and challenging, exciting and liberating, beautiful and shocking, always in progress and never perfect. Just as art is anything the artist decides it is; family is anyone you decide to love, unconditionally. My vision for family photography is to celebrate and showcase each individual, every colorful relationship, and the living family canvas as a whole. 



letting go.

2018:
the year my son’s adoption became legal and 

I began to see my life as ”mum-mum”

beyond one-day-at-a-time, 

which has changed how 

I see 

most everything - 

dear God, thank you;

2018: 

the year I began to run again 

more 

slowly 

than in years past 

with said son and surly dog,

away from inauthenticity,

toward the emotion I’d feared to feel

until now,

into the arms of people who’ve held me -

dear God, thank you;


2018:
the year I sat still,

almost daily with few exceptions,

even on shaky ground -on the floor 

before this altar in my bedroom’s morning light

calling on It to work through me,

in my office during my son’s nap,

savoring a ritual cup of coffee,

in the rooms of recovery…waiting rooms, doctor’s offices, hospitals…

holding the hand of my wife,

breathing - 

dear God, thank you; 


2018:
the year I learned to hang onto the people 

who want the best for me 

without transaction or return,

to hang on to my dreams for a better world,

to hang on to faith in my skills and a Power greater than my own - 

dear God,thank you;


2018:
the year we brought little Lou home and 

held him and 

held him and 

so many of us held him -

trying not to know what we knew:

we would need to let go of him,

to let go of the wish for a different past

to let go of the belief that we know what’s best 

for the future that isn’t promised,

to let go of the trauma that’s kept us

stuck in a cycle of anxiety 

followed by depression 

followed by anxiety 

followed by depression

for generations, 

to let go 

over and over

again -

dear God,thank you; 

I love you.

I’m listening..

here I am…

letting go.

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